Season 2 of Lifetime TV's ARMY WIVES series occasioned a military spouse contest sponsored by YourMilitary.com. Lifetime TV, YourMilitary.com and Author Phyllis Zimbler Miller provided prizes for the top 5 Grand Prize winners, the 10 Second Place winners and the Honorable Mentions.
Grand Prize Winners will receive a $100 American Express Gift Card and YourMilitary.com coffee mug from YourMilitary.com, along with a Tote Bag and ARMY WIVES Season One DVD from Lifetime TV. Author Phyllis Zimbler Miller will be giving every winner a copy of her book, Mrs. Lieutenant.
YourMilitary.com was very pleased to offer military spouses the opportunity to tell their stories in their own words. We received a range of stories that covered the high and low points of being a military spouse. We are pleased to share these stories with our world-wide audience.
Here is a list of the winners. All of the winning essays are featured below and are property of YourMilitary.com. No one is authorized to reprint the essays without permission of YourMilitary.com.
Grand Prize Winners:
Rose - Your Husband was in a Helicopter Crash in the Bering Sea
Jennifer B. - Civilians DO NOT Salute
Kathleen P. - My Saddest Moment as a Military Spouse
Abbey P. - How I Learned to tell Rank
Pamela B.- The Pride of Americans
Second Place Winners:
Jessica P. - Welcome Home
Patricia M. - My Failure in Football
Jaynine C. - Separation
Sherrie S. - Meeting Mr. Right
Laura C. - The FRG Rookie
Leah M. - Branching Transitions
Leticia - Camouflage Memory
Keanna T. - Deployment Day
Joy L. - Our Love Story
Sarah H. - My Beautiful but Crazy Life
Honorable Mentions:
Barbara B. - As a Very Young ARMY Wife
Nadine A. - Reflections of a 12 Month Journey
Kathleen P. - My Most Significant Moment as a Military Spouse
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Grand Prize Winner - Rose
Essay Title : Your Husband was in a Helicopter Crash in the Bering Sea
On Wednesday, 8 December 2004, my eight-month-old son was enrolled in the Kodiak, A.K.USCG day care, where I worked. My 10-year-old daughter had Nutcracker play practice every day that week.
Nights come early in December and it felt much later than 7 p.m. when we finally walked in the door after a full day. We were living on base and knew all the neighbors. Five of the six wives in our little cul-de sac of three duplexes were married to helicopter pilots.
On this night, my husband was the only one in our little fish bowl that was deployed. Most of the husbands had come home for dinner that night and rushed right back to work. We were so close to the air station that we could hear the Search and Rescue (SAR) alarm when it went off at all hours.
On this night, no alarms went off, but the air station was buzzing well after the usual quitting time. Everyone wanted to find out the fate of the crew. For a change, no one was calling to tell me the day's gossip.
We were so busy I didn't notice that I hadn't spoken to the other wives. I just knew that my husband was deployed for the week and I had to hold down the fort. He was scheduled to be gone and would miss our daughter's play.
We rushed in the door eager to get the baby in bed before he had a meltdown. The phone rang just after we got settled. The first words I heard were, "Hi! I am calling to let you know that David is up and walking around."
I think the operations officer was calling to relieve my worried mind. Everyone knew that there had been a helicopter crash at Dutch Harbor. Everyone but me!
I responded with something like, "I am assuming there is more to this story." He told me that David's helicopter was in the water, but the crew was fine. Then he asked me if I wanted to talk to a priest. To which I replied, "You just told me that he is fine. You tell me. Do I need to speak to a priest?" Nothing made sense.
David's helicopter had gone down in the Bering Sea. He and the crew were fished out of the water. Six had died. The details were sketchy but it sounded pretty serious. David called an hour later and in a very calm voice said, "Hi, Honey. I hope you didn't cash the check yet." I didn't get it. He meant the SGLI survivor check.
I still had no clue how close he had come to dying that night.
He was flown home in the admiral’s plane the next day. Christmas was especially sweet that year. He even got to see Mad in her play.
You can see the whole story of the crash on the History/Discovery Channel story “Alaska, Dangerous Territory.”
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Grand Prize Winner – Jennifer B.
Essay Title : Civilians DO NOT Salute
Shortly after my IRR husband and I were married, he began to consider re-entering the Army, either going active duty or perhaps finding a reserve unit in our area. So during a visit to the county fair, we stopped by the Army recruiting tent for a chat.
After a LENGTHY discussion of the options available, we finally began to depart. As we did, the sergeant saluted my husband, who is an officer. My husband returned the salute. As did I.
When we were out of the sergeant's earshot, my husband made an on-the-spot correction through gritted teeth: "Civilians DO NOT salute."
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Grand Prize Winner – Kathleen P.
Essay Title: My Saddest Moment as a Military Spouse
I was sad the day my husband Will left for Iraq. But my saddest day came days later when it finally sunk in that he was in the sand and I was here stateside. I was alone with our four children to raise.
Four tiny lives depended on me to be Mommy and Daddy, and I was crying uncontrollably in the cookie section of the grocery store because out of force of habit I was picking up his cookies and there would be nobody at home to eat them. In that moment I felt the most alone I have ever felt. No hearing his voice on the phone because they had to travel in country to their destination.
I came home to my 18-month-old demanding his DaDa.
That night after everyone was tucked in bed I began to be overcome once again by emotion. Then a tiny figure stood by my bedside offering his teddy. Inside the tiny stuffed creature is a recording my husband made for my son.
Michael pushed his paw and there was my husband’s deep manly voice. I decided then and there I had to get it together and keep it together for the sake of my children. I had to be strong for them. I had to find it deep within myself.
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Grand Prize Winner – Kathleen P. (2nd entry)
Essay Title : My Most Significant Moment as a Military Spouse
Before I met my husband I worked for the Castle Point VA hospital in New York. I saw the aftermath of war on men. I saw what it did to their bodies and to their minds. I had daily contact with these brave souls and they touch my life in ways they will never be aware.
Time marched on. I met and married a soldier, and we were blessed with four children. Veterans Day 2007 came; my husband was deployed. I packed up the toddler and the three girls into the car and drove off to the ceremony.
During the speeches I got lost in thoughts thinking of my husband who was somewhere in Iraq. I started looking around at the faces of these veterans wondering about all they had seen, places they had been.
My eyes then fell on those ladies seated beside those veterans. Those brave ladies who still supported their husbands. These wives were the generations that had gone before me. I couldn't help but wonder about the lives they led.
These were the military spouse that set the standard and broke the ground for the military spouses of today. These ladies inspire me. They convinced me that all those studies that you hear about the divorce rate in the military is on the rise can be overcome.
I often think back to Veterans Day and those specials ladies seated beside their husbands. I want to be one of those ladies who grow old alongside her husband. I want to inspire the next generation of military spouses or at least touch their lives in some way.
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Grand Prize Winner – Abbey P.
Essay Title: How I Learned to Tell Rank
We had only been married about 18 months when my husband got promoted to SGT. It is a big promotion for NCOs and I was so thrilled.
I was approximately seven months pregnant with our 2nd child when the pinning took place. Back then, the guys ranks were pinned on, not velcroed on like now.
Anyway, I went to this ceremony thinking that I would just record it on my camcorder and be on my merry way. Well, half way into the ceremony, in front of the whole company, my husband’s 1SGT called me up front.
Suddenly someone took my camera from me and shoved me a little bit. I waddled up to the front wondering what the hell I was needed up there for. I had never been to a promotion ceremony so this was all new to me.
Suddenly in my hands lay a single pin of points. My mind starts flashing "Do these go up? Down?" I honestly had no idea.
And as the time came to pin him in front of the whole company, as he was taking his NCO oath, I pinned him upside down. I didn't realize that it was wrong and I proudly stood back to look at my handsome husband and his new rank.
Somewhere off in the distance was some snickering, and then a soldier stepped in front of me very quickly to right my wrong. I would have run if I could have, but all had seen it anyway and running would have made it worse. I slowly sunk back into the background.
I went home and promptly learned all of the rank.
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Grand Prize Winner – Pamela B.
Essay Title : The Pride of Americans
I have always been proud of the fact that my husband is a Marine (he joined the Corps shortly before we were married). I knew that what he did was important for our country and for the world.
However, two incidences early in his career really opened my eyes on a more personal level to the significance of Marines and all military members and their role in the lives of Americans.
After completing a marching performance at a local cultural festival in Southern California, my husband, his fellow band members, and their spouses were enjoying some treats provided by the event hosts. In mid-bite of his hotdog, a small boy approached my husband and, without saying a word, took a good look at his uniform and saluted him.
My husband hesitated only long enough to put down his food before returning the salute.
About that time, an anxious-looking woman ran up to claim her grandson. She mumbled a quick apology and was about to steer the small boy away when she saw the looks on our faces and knew that we had been moved.
Pausing, she explained that his grandfather had been a Marine and, even though the youngster was only three, his grandfather had taught him about Marines. "Now," she explained, "every time that he sees a Marine, and trust me, he knows the uniform well, he salutes."
We thanked her and her grandson, but even after all of these years, I still remember that small frame with the reverent look and the big salute.
Later that same year, during a performance at the Rose Bowl parade, my husband saw an incident that had a deep impact on him and which moved me when he shared it.
On the outside column of the unit, my husband had a clear view of the bystanders crowded along the parade route. He kept an eye out ahead to avoid any collisions with parade-goers. While scanning the audience ahead, he noticed a person in a wheelchair.
As the band got closer, the individual struggled to rise out of the chair. Two people on either side noticed what the disabled person was trying to do. Each took an arm and helped the person to his feet so that he could stand straight and tall as the Marine band and color guard passed the crowd.
These two incidents, and many others over the course of my husband's career, have given me a broader perspective, beyond my initial personal pride, of Marines and of all those that proudly serve in the armed services.
It was the actions of these two individuals that demonstrated the impact that military members make on the lives of ordinary citizens. How the uniform and those that wear it give pride, hope, and respect to Americans of all ages everywhere.
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2nd Place Winner – Sherie S.
Essay Title : Meeting Mr. Right
During Desert Storm a few of us decided to send our troops care packages and letters. Ray picked out my letter from hundreds the ship received. He wrote back and a friendship took place quickly.
After the war ended, Ray was stationed in Key West, Florida. He would call me every night around 6 p.m. my time; I was living in California. He could cheer me up, make me laugh and just be a regular Joe.
Then on April 19, 2003, he proposed over the phone. Mind you, we only had pictures of one another and only knew what our voices sounded like. His proposal was "because this is over the phone, which makes it unofficial, will you marry me?" I thought he was kidding so I say "sure, as long as it's unofficial, I'll marry you".
We've just celebrated our 14th anniversary April 29th of this year.
While Ray was stationed in Mayport, Florida, he called to tell me he didn't get dinner due to being on watch. So I went to Burger King so we could have dinner together. As I was on deck waiting for the Officer on Deck to call Ray, I see this really nice-looking man approaching me.
We smiled at one another and, as he passed me, I noticed he didn't stop and look at the flag. In uniform you salute the flag coming and or leaving the ship. So I had asked the Chief about this. He said we should.
So being a new Navy wife at the time, I come out with, "Well that fat boy didn't." Chief kindly announces that “fat boy” was our Commanding Officer, and then the Chief called Ray to the quarterdeck.
I never lived this down while Ray was on board the USS Monterey. I still cringe thinking about it.
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2nd Place Winner – Sarah H.
Essay Title: My Beautiful But Crazy Life
My name is Sarah Hughes. I am married to SPC Christopher Hughes, and we have been married for three years now.
I sit back and think how much you can love someone and even more when they are gone. I have watched my husband fall and get right back up. The first time he deployed I didn’t know what I would do. I was seven months pregnant with a nine-month-old baby. How would I survive?
I remember moving back home to Arizona to have help and could not believe I would have our second child alone again. I broke down in the hospital room both times. Yet could my husband come home? No, even though my daughter was born with and still has a heart murmur. I just sat back and waited for R&R to come.
Well to my surprise my husband said he was coming home in April. He surprised me and showed up on our daughter’s due date November 5th.
I love my life and wouldn’t change it. I have become an Army wife, a mother and a friend to all I know. And I look back and think there was a reason my husband did not see our children’s births because he was doing what he loved.
We have not only overcome many obstacles, we are a military family and we love this country and we love each other.
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2nd Place Winner – Leah M.
Essay Title : Branching Transitions
I'm not sure why it scared me so much. My husband came home from work one day at his factory job and announced to me he was considering joining the Army active duty.
I always knew he'd return to the service. When we were dating he served in the Air Force. Why did the Army scare me more? As if he would be safer in any other branch.
We've been best friends since grade school. We've done everything together. Even his time in the Air Force I felt we were “together,” but this I could just feel would be different.
I'm an Army brat; I should not be so concerned. I'm somewhat familiar with this world. Even though I was very young when my dad ended his military career. But this is war time and he will be going to war. I just knew it.
Lucky for me I love an adventure and God has given me a heart of joy. I bravely stood beside my husband as he gave the oath of enlistment for the second time. This time with more pride than I remembered the first time.
He was off within a couple short weeks to White Sands Missile Range for a transition course from Air Force to Army. Similar to basic training, but all those involved have been there and done that before. Then he was straight to his Advanced Individual Training as a medic, much different from his policing job in his prior branch.
I was able to visit him twice during this time. Once at White Sands and again at Fort Sam Houston for medic graduation. Upon his graduating he was given orders to Fort Stewart. I was thrilled to finally get my sweet husband back.
We've never spent this much time apart. Our heartstrings were stretched but never broken. This move to our new post would be our next adventure, the new chapter in our book.
We were both so thrilled. We learned to ride our bikes together, we learned to fish together, drive together. We are so much more than husband and wife; we are the very best of friends. He is my soul-shine.
So it should come as no surprise that when within three days at Stewart he called to tell me he'd be deploying in three weeks, meaning no time for a move ... or barely for each other. We were both a bit heart-broken.
But we love this military live and I always knew he'd return. It's in our blood. We both took a deep breath and decided to embrace this deployment with as much joy and laughter that we could muster.
At this point we have been separated for 14 months and he will still not be home until a bit into 2009. Our love has GROWN and our MARRIAGE is so strong. We are thrilled to be a part of the military family. Hooah! We are branching into all our new transitions.
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2nd Place Winner – Joy L.
Essay Title : Our Love Story
I was working in the Cleveland suburbs during the summer of 2005 very close to a Marine Corps Reserve unit that had been activated. Since 09/11 there were signs of political support throughout the area.
Then the unthinkable happened. Our reserve unit had been ambushed in Iraq. The community was devastated.
I decided that I wanted to make a difference. I did not want anyone to feel alone while deployed. I wanted to be someone that was from their hometown, could send them whatever it is that they wanted, and be the ear to listen to whatever they wanted to share with their family but were afraid to in fear of making them worry. I wanted to be that someone as I didn’t have anyone either.
I contacted an organization called Operation Military Pride. I was able to request someone from a specific branch of service, hometown, etc. I requested a Marine from Cleveland thinking I might get someone from the unit that was affected. Within a couple of days, I received an email with my Marine's information along with a list of requested items for his care packages. I quickly printed it out and went to work.
During my breaks, I sat down to take a closer look at the information so I could start writing my first letter. It was vague, nothing more than his address and wish list. Something kept drawing my eyes to his name. I didn't know why but I felt as though he was matched with me for a reason, like he needed me.
It took me a couple of days to write that first letter. How do you start a conversation with a grown man that you've adopted, on the other side of the world, in a war? I asked a lot of questions about him and sent it on September 15, 2005.
I was hoping to hear back but wasn't holding my breath. I came home one day and was surprised to see that I had gotten a response. I was so excited until I learned that he is not from Cleveland or even Ohio. Oh well. I thought I'd try to make the best of it.
During that deployment we began with letters, packages, emails, instant messages, and phone calls. During that time, we fell in love. When he came back to the states, he came to see me.
Sure there were about 10 minutes of awkwardness but then it passed. We went for a long drive and ended up at Marblehead Lighthouse. The sun had just set; there was a cool breeze in the air. He put his arm around me and I leaned into him.
For that one moment, everything in the world was perfect and we both just knew.
We were together for another deployment when he came back and proposed. We were married in River Bend, North Carolina on September 15, 2007. Two years to the day of my first letter. And, we are living happily ever after.
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2nd Place Winner – Keanna T.
Essay Title : Deployment Day
My husband deployed July 11, 2007. I was 19 and he was 20. We had been married for less than four months.
That day just felt so surreal. We got to spend the morning together, and then at 12:00 p.m. we had to say our goodbyes. It was so hard to let him go. When I looked in his eyes, I saw tears building up, but he wanted to be strong for me and wouldn't let them go.
They went and got their weapons, and at 3:30 we met them at the airport. We had to stay on the other side of the fence and watch as the buses pulled up by the plane. As we watched them get off the bus and onto the plane, time stopped.
So many thoughts were running through my head. I couldn't believe I was watching my husband and some of my best friends go to war. It was hard to think that all of these people are leaving but how many would really be coming home?
They were acting all happy as they were leaving to go to the unknown. I picked my husband out of the rest as soon as he got off the bus. He still had his cell phone with him. So when he got on the plane, we started texting. The last message that he sent me was, "I can't wait to hold you in my arms again. I love you with all of my heart, baby, and I will
be home for you in 15 months."
He has been deployed for almost a year now. The last time I saw him was when R&R ended on October 27, 2007. When I see him next, it will be about a year since then. This deployment has been hard, but I love him so much and he is more than worth the wait.
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2nd Place Winner – Patricia M.
Essay Title : My Failure in Football
My husband was currently in Iraq on a six-month deployment (U.S. Navy retired) and we had just moved from South Carolina to Jacksonville, Florida. Our sons were just about 8 and 10 years old, and I thought it fell on me to teach them about football.
I knew nothing about football but Jacksonville had just gotten the Jacksonville Jaguar franchise. I was learning and I thought that it would be a cool Christmas present to give them souvenirs with autographs. So being the cool mom I was to go after work one Friday.
I get outside and I had a nail in my tire. Not to be thwarted, I drove slowly to the AAFES gas station and they fixed it in 30 minutes.
I still thought I could make it so I go downtown and park in a parking garage. I wasn't used to driving downtown and even though it was further away I felt safer parking next to the guard shack in the parking garage.
I get my stuff together to get autographed. I walked about four blocks away just to see a line wrapped around the building. I still trudged on and stood in line. After an hour and a half I was at the door and ready to go in when they shut the door and announced they weren't taking any more people in.
The crowd got very angry, and the people inside starting throwing things out to appease the crowd. (I was so close but I did get a Jaguar jacket that would fit one of the boys.)
I get to the garage and realize very shortly my battery is dead. The guard helped me and jumpstarted it.
Then I get on the bridge going out of town and there is an accident. After waiting for another hour I finally make it over the bridge and then find out I am on fumes.
I slowed down until I get on the other side of the bridge and to the gas station. I get to the driveway of the gas station and the car stalled and I came to a stop at the pump.
I never did get those autographs and never wanted to mention any of it to anyone but I figured at least I tried.
My husband got home after Christmas and I told him what happened and he said that wasn't a big deal; he really didn't like football.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH.
My boys aren't into it either. My oldest daughter was the only one who got into with me.
When I got home that evening, all I remember is dropping my purse just inside the door and sulking all the way to the bathroom to soak in the tub. I'm still a Jaguar fan.
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2nd Place Winner – Jessica P.
Essay Title: Welcome Home
Streamers, balloons, banners. I had everything running through my head on how to welcome home my soldier from the hot climates of Iraq.
It was the morning he arrives. I jumped out of bed and started doing my hair and make-up. Then I realized I forgot to shower. Once I was able to get a grip on the emotions, I started doing things in normal order.
Once everyone was up and ready, we headed outside to decorate the cars. I heard the birds singing, and I could smell and taste the crisp October morning. It was then and there that I realized my dreams of an Army wife have finally come true. My soldier was returning home just like he promised 363 days ago.
After what seemed to be the longest drive, we finally arrived at the company where we had to ride the bus to the airfield. But as I looked around I noticed about 200 yellow ribbons tied on trees, banners and balloons everywhere. Then I knew this was put together by the FRG. IT WAS AMAZING….
Once we got off the bus I could hear the announcement: "Families and friends, please report to the welcoming strip. The plane will arrive in 5 minutes." I grabbed any kid I could and started to run.
Once we reached the welcome point, I realized they were nowhere near five minutes away. They were already landing.
The plane finally came to a complete stop. The door opened, and they started walking down the stairs one by one. How they could hold in all the excitement I still don't know. ACU's are a good thing to see at this time. They all carried much of the same, a carryon bag (most of the ACU design) and their weapons.
It's true, they're home, he's home. My family is complete again. My best friend is home SAFE in my arms.
But there was a fence dividing us so we couldn't really feel their warm touch. They had to do a de-brief and then a ceremony from someone in a fancy uniform. Then we got to hug, kiss and really welcome them home. We had about 15 minutes before they had to leave us to turn in weapons and their gear.
I was not happy about letting him go again. But that's the Army for you. The families had to bus back to the company to await our soldiers.
It was even more amazing inside then it was outside. There were red, white, blue and ACU design everywhere as well as food, drinks and anxious families.
It was then that we were told that the soldiers had arrived and have to do paperwork and such before we got to bring them home.
He has been home for eight months now and we just pulled orders to a new duty station. WE’RE MOVING TO HAWAII…… Ask any Army wife, every day brings new heights to army lives.
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2nd Place Winner - Leticia
Essay Title : Camouflage Memory
I would love to say my most significant moment was the day I met and married my husband. It is one of the moments. But the one that sticks out to me was watching my mother deploy during the Gulf War.
It had to have been past midnight; I was sitting at the end of my mom's bed watching her take out all of these cools things. I remember playing her cool-looking flashlight and putting on her camouflage.
The smell still takes me back when my husband unloads his gear. I didn't understand what was going on. I doubt if anyone could explain it to me when I was just roughly five years old. Maybe she didn't want to explain it to me, maybe she did. My father was already gone on a ship, so he not being home wasn't a huge deal to me. I still can smell her camouflage.
The next thing I remember was being at my grandmother's house. You couldn't go a day without me asking when my mom was going to be home. She ended up being letters in the mail, sending me sand every chance she got. She would be a voice on the phone, and me asking when she was going to send me more sand.
I never felt like I was either home or happy. I felt my worst when no one knew my birthday. So I just picked a day and pretended it was my birthday. All I wanted was my mother; she was all I ever knew. They may have been family but they were not my family. My mother came back home to me with an award that she gave to me.
Today, many years later, I have started to find out more stories of what happened to her while she was over there. I remember my dad telling my step-mom about how my mother's hospital got bombed, and that made me cry. I don't know why, maybe the thought that I came that close to losing my mother and I would've never understood why.
I would hear about how they had to give up their food to send to the front lines because they were out of food; that her and fellow corpsmen would live off chips and soda. I looked at pictures from her time over there and asking her who is who, and she would smile and relate funny stories of them to me.
I know one day I will have to explain to my children why their father was gone for so long and why he cannot come home. I know how my children will feel with their father gone and it breaks my heart to know they will never understand until they are older. But at least my children will have a seasoned military brat to help them through.
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2nd Place Winner – Leticia (2nd Entry)
Essay Title : Can You See Me, Daddy?
I never knew it was different; I never knew a father wasn't supposed to be a voice or a letter. But my mine was. My father was in the Navy; he traveled the world on ship. This was the norm for me. I wonder how my life would've been different if my dad was always around.
I smile as I write this up. I never regretted not having him around. He was always around. Think of the song "I am Already There" by Lonestar. That song must've been written about my dad. I remember getting letters from him. I couldn't read but my mother would read them to me; I was only 3. He would tell me how much he missed me and how he could see me even though he wasn't there with me.
I remember asking my dad when he called "Can you see me, Daddy?" and he would always say "Yes, cheesehead, I see you." He would always tell me he could tell if my room was clean and how the pictures I have he could see me through them. He always made me promise to take care of my mother and do what she says. And that’s how it always was.
He would come home for a bit; we would walk to the beach together with my mom when we lived in Japan. I would wave high to the banana spiders from a safe distance of 20 feet. He would always follow me with a camera and video camera catching my every move, making sure not to miss a thing.
He would take me to work with him at times, and I remember sitting in a burger joint and Paula Abdul came on the biggest tv I've ever seen -- about 100 feet (as a child everything was huge). And I am probably sure he tried to make me dance. I was the apple of my father's eye.
Today I find letters and cards he wrote me my mother saved. My dad has since remarried and has started a little family of his own. He takes an active role to keep me in their lives. I love my new family. And I know when they are done with their military brat career they will be just under the age 10.
And they are starting out the same way I did, but this time it's my stepmother who is the one who is gone. Even though I spent 15 years of my life mainly without my father physically there he was always there. He was there watching me. And today he is still here for me. He is my father in no matter what form he comes.
I hope my children will never hold their father’s job against him and never ever believe their father doesn't love them because he wasn't around. It is because he loves them and he wants the best for them, just like my "daddy."
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2nd Place Winner – Laura C.
Essay Title : The FRG Rookie
I'm a National Guard FRG leader. Have been since April 2007. Deployment since January 2008.
I sure love this FRG and have been to our state workshop and I have learned a lot. I really learned from the Army Wives show. I am an army brat of 37 years. I can really connect with the show.
But I realized that FRG doesn't work like it does for Army where you live on post/base. Families don't connect as well and rarely get involved with the FRG and attend meetings. They feel intimidated by the military and are rebellious to what we are trying to provide for them. I have found they hate the military.
We are drillers and now we are deployed they are very shy and I can't seem to fix this. Hard to gain their confidence. At first they were curious but then left the group. Came up with a lot excuses not to come.
With all the new technology they are just okay with an email with updates about their soldier; they don’t care @ FRG.
I won’t give up on my commander who I told I will be there. I am nominated for a National Volunteer Award; I wonder how because I haven’t had any progress.
But I am just very proud to be a part of the FRG and our state family programs who try very hard to help and provide the best information.
This is my saddest moment, for I feel I haven’t done my best to assure I am right for the FRG.
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2nd Place Winner – Jaynine C.
Essay Title : Separation
Having served in the Marine Corps and in two deployments, I assumed my experiences would've prepared me for my husband’s deployment. It would now be my duty to stay home and care for our toddler while he went to war. Easy enough? WRONG!
There is nothing that could brace me for the emotionally exhausting journey I was about to embark on. When my husband and I received notice of the deployment we ironically rejoiced. The idea of bringing in the extra cash was ideal for our financial goals, which would mean marital improvement.
We even took our financial hopes a step further by moving from San Diego back to Yuma, Arizona, where I had spent my enlistment. Our daughter and I settled in, while my husband stayed in Miramar, California. Every other weekend for the months leading to the deployment he drove to Yuma to visit. Until it was our turn to take that drive to say our farewells.
On the way back I felt a sickening in my stomach; the feelings one gets when one realizes life is never going to be the same. Furthermore, I would never be the same.
I remembered Yuma as being a small, quiet, and seemingly safe town. Maybe I was sheltered by the military and the sense of security it gave me. During the first months my husband and I exchanged emails and phone-calls almost daily. I hated bearing bad news, but it came all too soon.
Within a month our vehicle was burglarized, credit cards stolen and $1400 in fraud committed. What do I do? Family was miles away and the friends that I made in Yuma became those in question. The occurrences continued, and the next month our home was burglarized. Finally our vehicle was stolen.
I cried to my husband, seeking his guidance. I felt so guilty for becoming a burden to him as I sensed his doubts of my capabilities as a caretaker.
Our vehicle was returned by police, and as suspected I knew the perpetrator. I began to see Yuma for what it was: a border-town infested with gangs, drugs, and schemes. I reflected on the previous months, and like the end of a Scooby-Doo episode, I began to unmask all the questionable characters I encountered.
I felt like a fool as I was simply trying to build a network of friends. I was instead conned by destructive individuals who cared nothing of my well-being. My daughter and I moved with to Los Angeles with family.
My husband rarely calls or writes; I can't recall the last time he said he loved me. We never did save money, but that's the least of my woes.
I\'m just glad my journey was not in vain because I know I am not the naive girl I once was. I only hope the journey continues with my husband.
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Honorable Mention: Kathleen P.
Essay Title : My Most Significant Moment as a Military Spouse
Before I met my husband I worked for the Castle Point VA hospital in New York. I saw the aftermath of war on men. I saw what it did to their bodies and to their minds. I had daily contact with these brave souls and they touch my life in ways they will never be aware.
Time marched on. I met and married a soldier, and we were blessed with four children. Veterans Day 2007 came; my husband was deployed. I packed up the toddler and the three girls into the car and drove off to the ceremony.
During the speeches I got lost in thoughts thinking of my husband who was somewhere in Iraq. I started looking around at the faces of these veterans wondering about all they had seen, places they had been.
My eyes then fell on those ladies seated beside those veterans. Those brave ladies who still supported their husbands. These wives were the generations that had gone before me. I couldn't help but wonder about the lives they led.
These were the military spouse that set the standard and broke the ground for the military spouses of today. These ladies inspire me. They convinced me that all those studies that you hear about the divorce rate in the military is on the rise can be overcome.
I often think back to Veterans Day and those specials ladies seated beside their husbands. I want to be one of those ladies who grow old alongside her husband. I want to inspire the next generation of military spouses or at least touch their lives in some way.
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Honorable Mention – Barbara B.
Essay Title: As a Very Young Army Wife
At age 16 I was ready for marriage. My (then) boyfriend (Jack) was a senior and I was a freshman. Over the summer vacation Jack went and enlisted into the Army and was sent to Fort Hood for basic training for the 3rd Battalion 23rd Engineers.
I was okay with him leaving for basic training. But when he made it back, he was only going to be home for three weeks before they shipped him off to Hanau, Germany.
I was so upset. He was the love of my life; he was the one who helped me deal with my past (my father was abusive and Jack did what he could to keep me strong enough to deal with it) and I couldn't just see him go. We decided to get married and, surprisingly, my parents gave us full support by allowing us that wish.
In July of 1989 he left and I stayed behind until he found housing. He made his way to Germany and rushed to get me there. He worked very fast because by the end of September 1989 I found myself beside him once again.
We had so much fun while stationed there. We traveled to many places and found ourselves lost in their culture. The lakes and the mountains and everything else were just amazing. We were even lucky enough to talk to the original barber for Elvis Presley. It was so neat to walk through the shop and see the man next to Elvis in pictures and feel like we were taking a stroll back in time if only for a little while. Elvis Presley's barber had many stories to tell along with all of the pictures to prove it. He even cut Jack’s hair a time or two.
We were also able to see the salt mines in Salzburg and the cemetery where “The Sound of Music” was filmed (as well as the house where the original children grew up).
I loved taking the train for fun. We'd often do this on the weekends (with a few of the single soldiers); we'd fill our backpacks with the essentials for the day and hop on a train. We would feast on all of the German foods and stay at hotels near beautiful castles. It was just fun.
We wouldn't have changed being stationed there for our first tour for anything in the world. We had a beautiful son in 1993(our last souvenir before coming back stateside).
We went our separate ways shortly after our return from Germany but have since become friends. When we do talk now it is often about what it was like when we lived there. It is a chance of a lifetime for someone to experience what we were able to do and enjoy every day.
Those are the memories I will always be fond of. I don't regret ever marrying him nor do I hate him today; things happen.
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Honorable Mention – Nadine A.
Essay Title : Reflections of a 12-Month Journey
This essay is a reflection of our 12-month deployment in support of OIF 05-7. I look back at it with tears, love and gratitude. It was a year of trial. But not hardship.
I really learned how much attitude has to do with how hard your trials truly are. We know there are going to tough times. But with the right attitude and the reliance on the Lord, they don't have to be so hard.
There have been some overwhelming times. I thought my heart would break when I learned our good friends were killed. I still cry almost daily for the loss of these special men. So many people were blessed in knowing these soldiers; I know I have been blessed.
I think about all the families I had the opportunity to interact with. Oh what a blessing they have been. On the not-so-great days I was uplifted with a simple word of encouragement from a mother or a father.
I look at my husband and I am so grateful for the 7,348 miles that have brought us closer and stronger in our marriage. I've been asked how I do it. Do you miss him? Do you miss the intimacy?
I am truly grateful for the opportunity that was given us as a couple to learn intimacy on a whole new level. A spiritual intimacy. I look at my lot as an Army wife as a blessing. We all know that the Heavenly Father has a plan for each and every one of us. How grateful am I that His plan for me included marrying a soldier.
It's not always an easy life and at times comes with much sacrifice. We are all handed our trials for different reasons and for different life experience. I am thankful that the Lord chose me for this journey. I am proud to be an Army wife. How often do people get to say their loved one makes a difference in the world each and every day and not just for himself.
Thanks to all the military spouses who shared their stories with us.
Posted by: Phyllis Zimbler Miller | August 05, 2008 at 01:20 PM